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Jim and Pat's house in Washington

Lots of good memories from Jim and Pat's House in Washington.  They had a hill in the backyard that we would roll down, we loved rolling down Hills and theirs was a good one, except the grass was very thick and really itchy so it wasn't a good Hill to roll down. After all, the neighbor had a jungle gym. Gym! It was so fun to climb on. There's a school yard down a few blocks that was fun to play at, it was just down the road from patki's dairy, sometimes grandma would buy us a container of soft serve ice cream and freeze it, and then we would eat it and it was the best, when you came in the front door there was a sitting room to the right with some fancy furniture, that's where they would put up their Christmas tree, when we would visit. There was a shiny ball that made a sound from the inside that sounded like a bird, I would look inside that ball and search for that bird but couldn't find it. I wanted to open up that thing so bad and I think I eventually did bu...
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Saturday, June 21

 The day after the anniversary of Ruthie passing away. Somehow it seems like this one was hard for me but it was easier than usual for Susie.   I was thinking about and got emotional thinking about how Elijah may have felt over these years about losing his sister.  I then often think about how different life would be with her in it.   Man.  How different, it seems, that life would be with her in it.   But then again we would not have Anna in our lives without Ruthie.   She has been there throughout this post divorce period and I can't imagine going through it without her.   I think about that dinner we had at Chile's.  And that lunch we had at Taco Bell.  (The lunch at Chile's was way better by the way.)  But for a night I felt like I had a life.   I'm going to the casino on Tuesday with Mike and it feels like I have a life.   Maybe I need to go get coffee more often.  Me and Vivat g...
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Divorce Finalized

Susie texted me today and told me the divorce is final.  It's in the books.   I'm single.   I'm a divorced person.  
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Pelsters

 Why did our parents allow me to continue to go to the Pelster's after Eric was abused there? I remember going there to spend the night with Jim Bob.  I remember going there and looking at porno mags in the neighbors corn field.  They must have been after the abuse summer.  How was this allowed?!
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Story of Dan and Martha Nix dating and wedding

 In the summer of 1972 Dan had just received honorable discharge from the military.  He was dating a woman named Marsha.  She was from a catholic family and was actually in the process of becoming a nun earlier in her life but did not pursue it afterall.  She wanted a Catholic wedding, which would require Dan to join the Catholic faith, which he was in the process of doing.  However. during the engagement they got into an argument and they broke off the engagement.   In the spring of 1972 Martha was living in Florida.  She was married and the marriage ended in divorce.  Martha decided to move back to the farm in New Haven to tend to her mother who had gotten cancer and help her sister, Norma, who was raising the three boys while attending nursing school at that time.   Martha was selling Tupperware at that time and a woman she hosted a party with gave Martha the name of Pat Nix to host another party, Dan's mother.  Martha went ...
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Kyle gets COVID

Tuesday, June 21  I went to bed Tuesday night feeling pretty tired and worn down.  During the day I worked on putting some new lumber in the attic and that afternoon Esther was playing with Tuvy.  I went walking with Horace the dog to get some light training in for the weekend trip to Pete's that was planned.  I was feeling tired when I went to bed.  It felt like possibly some more than just a tiring day, but I didn't think much of it.  The thought slightly crossed my mind that I may have covid.   Wednesday, June 22 Then on Wednesday morning I woke up with a sore throat.  However, I went to breakfast at Hello Deli as usual and was ready to go to a handyman job for fixing some leaky sprinklers.  The job fell through due to rain so I went to Lowes instead.  I got home around 9:30 and felt OK.  Susie and I took Esther to swim lessons at noon and then she went to work.  I went walking at 1:00 when Mary was watching Esther....
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16th anniversary of Ruthie passing away

 Today is the 16th anniversary of Ruthie passing.   I've reflected on her death before.  In fact, it took me a few nights to get through all of the memories surrounding her.  Though, there is probably more that I can recall and process through.   Today we heard from Ang, and Steve, and Ruth.  But, as far as me, that was all.  I imagine Susie heard from others. It's not her birthday.  It's like secondary to her birthday, but it's an important day for Susie and me.  It was just as hard as her birthday, maybe even harder, but it was different too.   I didn't hear from anyone in my family and I guess that is kind of a bummer.   Writing about her and thinking about her earlier this morning causes me to experience tension in my neck.  Why tension?  Shouldn't I be feeling sadness.  It's kinda weird.  I don't know where the tension is coming from.  Maybe it's something I can talk to Susie about....
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